My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You can't motorboat a personality
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
