She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
