Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
