great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Boobs are out for the taking
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
