I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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