I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
