And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
