did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
