She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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