Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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