Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just high enough for therapy.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
