I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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