whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
