Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
