Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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