we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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