did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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