you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
