I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
