Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
