but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
