if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
