I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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