Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
