is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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