Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
