he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
