I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
