She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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