yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
