The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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