You work out of a Hotel?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
