the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
