I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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