just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
