I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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