Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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