Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
