And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
