seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize