If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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