but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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