Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ugly people sure do ruin things
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Bring me that man meat
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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