you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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