So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
