How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
