I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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