Please, let me fuck your mom
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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