So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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