singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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