Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
