Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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