did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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