I forgot how hot balto sounded
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
